Observations from the Monkey House

Tough Love

2012-02-08T00:07:00.001-05:00

I thought about it today and realized that not only have I not made a new CD for my Spinning class in ages, but it's been a long time since I posted anything about it. I think it's time to dust it all off and remember why I enjoy doing it so much, and in the process, maybe either give you guys a window into Jen's crazy mind as a Spin instructor or at least give you some fun CD ideas. :-)

Anyway, it being February, I decided to pull out my Valentine's Day "Tough Love" CD. All songs have the word "Love" in the title, if not in the intent. A little something for everyone - the lovebirds and the disenchanted. And a good workout too. Win-win!

The profile starts off getting the heart rate up with some jumps (lifts in and out of the seat) and some speed work, then gets into some SERIOUS speed followed by one hell of a climb. It's a nice endurance ride until about halfway through, and kicks in with the second half.

So, before I post the profile, I should probably give you the "Jen to English" Spinning dictionary:

Flat Road	Seated, low resistance, higher cadence
Climb	Higher resistance, simulating the difficulty going uphill. Lower cadence. Seated or standing.
Lift	Standing, out of the saddle.
Jumps	Alternating standing and seated, usually to the beat (4-counts, 8-counts, etc.)
Surge	Added speed.
Breakaway	Adding speed AND resistance (simulating the power needed to "Break away" from the pack in a bike race, kinda-sorta)

Now that we got that out of the way, this is what I played today:

1	Friday, I'm in Love (The Cure)	3:38	Warmup (Flat Road)
2	Somebody to Love (Jefferson Airplane)	2:58	Warmup (Lift at Chorus)
3	Cupid / I've Loved You for a Long Time (The Spinners)	3:56	Jumps: 8-counts / 4-counts
4	Radar Love (Golden Earring)	6:24	Speed drills - cumulative surges, bringing it back at the break, then back up again.
5	The Game of Love (Santana feat. Michelle Branch)	4:15	Seated climb with breakaways at chorus. Leave resistance on after each breakaway, bring cadence back to starting pace
6	Lucky Love (Ace of Base)	3:41	Jumps: 8-counts / 4-counts
7	The Age of Love (Scooter)	2:37	FAST cadence (push past aerobic threshold) - recover during break. Repeat for second verse
8	Feel Like Making Love (Bad Company)	5:13	Climb, add resistance each minute, or as desired.
9	Love Stinks (J. Geils Band)	3:44	Continue with climb
10	Used to Love Her (Guns and Roses)	3:13	Cooldown, stretch
11	I've Been in Love Before (Cutting Crew)	5:32	Cooldown, stretch

Like I said, a little something for everyone (and probably a little something for NO one as well ;-). Time to start making some new playlists!

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

2012-01-25T00:39:00.000-05:00

So… back in November or December, I got poked by a couple folks to go blog again. That it was nice that I found my voice and I should do it more often (really, have they heard me talk? My voice could stand to be lost once in a while. But I digress…). It got me thinking about blogging in general, or any of the social media, really. How at first, I thought it takes a certain amount of ego to believe you have something to say that anyone wants to hear (or read).

I don't say this in a bad way. Some level of ego or confidence is healthy, and it's good to feel like you've been heard and you have an outlet. But I think my generation is a dying breed in a way, and it's been interesting to see the progression.

We and our siblings are pretty much the last generation to grow up (in our formative years, anyway) without being "connected". If we weren't physically with our friends, there wasn't a lot of socializing going on. Sure, we had telephones, but you had to know who you were calling. And unless you had the "pleasure" of a party line (oh, THOSE were fun), you didn't talk to more than one person at a time. You went out for that (and yes, this Old Lady realizes that you Young Whippersnappers still do just that - some things never change, despite society's cries of woe).

Writing was the same way. You wrote. On PAPER! (GASP!) And you either shared it with friends, stuck it in a journal never to see the light of day again, or, if you were good and lucky, you submitted something to a magazine and got published. Or tried.

Only a few people used public outlets, and those outlets were typically letters in magazines or newspapers, or phone calls to talk radio. If you were particularly brave - or crazy - you took to the streets and became one of THOSE people. If you were particularly driven, you got your OWN talk radio show.

And now, being connected, finding an outlet for your beliefs, your concerns, your talents - it's all at your fingertips.

I graduated from college around the time the web took off. I was working at my first job out of school when NCSA Mosaic came along, and wow - this was cool! And then it exploded BEYOND the techie community. People were getting dialup accounts and checking it out for themselves. Getting email. Getting AIM accounts. And that was AMAZING to watch. The Internet went from a small number of communities (USENET groups, various BBSes, chat servers) to one big one in a handful of years. And the kids who were born around that time, this is what they've known since childhood - a community at their fingertips. The public versus the private? Blurred.

What used to require ego and confidence - the newfangled equivalent of shouting in a crowded gathering or standing up on a soapbox on the sidewalk - just doesn't have that same feel for many anymore. Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr… even sites like Reddit and Digg - they're all communities. Virtual neighborhoods. People who've grown up in these streets (or spent a lot of time in them) are quite comfortable here. And it feels like home. There are enclaves, neighborhoods where one is known and comfortable, neighborhoods you've passed through enough and are familiar with, and all sorts of new places to travel to. Boundaries between them? They can be as rigid or as fuzzy as you want them to be.

To someone who sees the Internet as a world full of strangers, yes, it's hard to understand why anyone would share so much online. Or to understand why people feel the need to share so much to nobody in particular.

To someone who sees the Internet as a community, or a neighborhood? It's no different than hanging out with the neighbors, or at a party, and conversing with friends and acquaintances. Personal stories, pontification, silly jokes, favorite songs… every good gathering has some of that. :-) (And yes, every party has the people you wish would shut up, too… no different here, I'm afraid. And I will eventually shut up if you get me one of those chocolate things over there… yeah, that one. Thanks.)

Yes, there are the things to worry about: identity theft… I'm not really talking about that here. Of course, you need to be careful what you leave laying around, just like in real life. No, my point is only that I'm fascinated by the change I see. It's not just "kids" embracing the idea of an online community. Facebook makes it SO easy to stay in touch with old friends and relatives, and I LOVE being able to do that.

Which brings me back around to why I started blogging in the first place (hey, I *am* going somewhere with this!)...

The blog (and others before it) really started out as a way to share "the life of Jen" with my family. I could put some pictures up and point them to it, so they could see the kids grow, or just stay in touch. A closed community. The growth of Facebook made that a moot point, so it turned into more of a journal - travel journal at times, running journal at others. Still a closed community.

And then I had a cancer scare.

And the gates opened - it became a bigger community.

Facebook helped too, but what happened is that I realized I had an audience. An audience of friends. A neighborhood, if you will. A neighborhood who rallied around and helped encourage me to (A) get checked, and (B) got me through a lot of the stress and worry. And I will always appreciate that.

And for those of you who weren't here then, no worries. Benign. :-)

Since then, the blog has gotten a bit deeper. A bit more personal (although I still like keeping certain things close to my chest). Friends have reminded me that I like to write… so I do. Others have encouraged me to KEEP writing here… so I am. At some point, I may even put some of the more artsy-fartsy stuff I've written up here, but I'm not quite ready for that yet, if I ever am (I've got a nice, anonymous Tumblr for that ;-)

I've always loved deep discussions and debates with friends, and while I haven't really done much of that in my blog (yet), I find it fun to turn ideas around and dig into them… to maybe pontificate a bit and see if it leads to a discussion. To question and probe without judgment… maybe the virtual equivalent of having a heated discussion among friends and ending it with, "Well, let's have another beer."

So, okay. I'll blog more. I'll write more. But I'll dig a bit more as well. That's been fun lately, and always good to gain some more self-insight.

And if this blog changes into yet something else? So be it. It'll be fun while it lasts. :-)

Onward and upward!

And thanks for being part of my neighborhood. <3

Gifts

2011-12-24T09:07:00.000-05:00

I was challenged to write a blog post before Christmas, and I'm cutting it pretty close. Story of a Procrastinator's life, huh? I had this long post half worked out about gifts and giving and suggested some alternatives to feeling like you NEED to find that something-or-other to check off a box, but since it's Christmas Eve, we're pretty much past that point, aren't we? I'll wrap that one up and dust it off next year. :-)

And then a dear friend of mine (who is also the one who threw down the challenge gauntlet) posted a Christmas memory, and after I dug out whatever was stuck in my eye and making me all teary-eyed, I smiled while I remembered a few of my own.

I lost my dad in 1988, Thanksgiving weekend. I barely remember that Christmas, to be honest. It was a blur, and I think I wanted to keep it that way. My aunt let me borrow some pictures to scan, and I have zero recollection of the time spent at my grandparents' house that day. It's nice to have the pictures now.

What I do have are memories of other Christmases.

My dad had a bit of a prankster in him. This explains a lot, you say. Thanks for the compliment. ;-)

I remember one Christmas where my Mom had a HUGE box under the tree. He and I watched as she started to open it, and lo and behold… a huge box FULL of paper towels. Individually bunched up (hey, this was well before tissue paper was as ubiquitous as it is now - Bounty is what we had!). I remember "the look" and then Mom digging through the box trying to find the wristwatch hiding among the paper towels. It took a while. As a kid, if that wasn't the funniest thing I saw that Christmas, I don't know what was. :-D

And, of course, they were PERFECTLY GOOD paper towels, so we reused them.

And then there was the homemade box.

My Dad had gotten my Mom something smallish (it was so long ago, and the actual present doesn't matter, so I don't remember what it was), and decided that since we didn't have a box of the proper size, we would make one.

So I helped my dad cut out 6 equal-sized squares of cardboard from a MUCH LARGER BOX (which was then useless, but whatever - we were making our own!), and we taped that sucker together on all sides around Mom's gift. I think we kept the Scotch tape folks in business that year.

Mom opened the gift and had NO idea what end to open. And we laughed, got a knife, and extracted the present from its tape-and-cardboard womb.

That box was used EVERY SINGLE CHRISTMAS after that, until Mom moved and we lost track of it. There was more tape than cardboard after a while, but I always loved that box.

I remember my Dad teaching me how to wrap gifts, to crease the paper just so, to fold here, tuck that there, and tape, tape, tape!

I remember adding those individual pieces of tinsel to the tree and then recycling them every year to use over again.

I remember the one and only year we got a real tree… I went with my dad and our neighbor into the woods ("Are we supposed to be here?" "It's fine, just hurry up!") to cut what seemed to be the smallest tree in the area. Unfortunately, the smallest tree does not equate to a SMALL tree, and we saw that once we got it home.

To our apartment.

Where you have to wedge this tree through the front door, up the stairs, and around the corner through OUR door.

After much sputtering by my dad and laughing by me, I was sent upstairs to wait.

By the time the tree made it upstairs, it was much more Charlie-Brownish… and there were a number of needles and pieces of tree left behind in the hallway. But it was in. And it was… TALL. Sick of dealing with the tree, they chopped off the TOP so it would fit. So at least it looked fuller. ;-)

And then it wouldn't stay up. The cat didn't help. So Mom did what Moms do - she got out her yarn from her knitting and tied it to the wall.

Picture if you will, a roundish, bent-up tree tied to the wall with brown, yellow, and orange variegated yarn, with a cat in it.

Yeah, we had a four-foot fake tree every year thereafter. :-)

Some good memories over coffee this morning, and a nice way to reflect on what we take with us from Christmas. So, in a way, this post IS about gifts. The gifts from my Dad that carry with me today. The moments. The memories. The important stuff.

What are YOUR memories of Christmases past? What are you helping create with your loved ones? What will they take with them once you're gone?

Thanks, Dad. Merry Christmas. I do miss you. <3

Merry Xmas? Happy Holidays!

2011-11-25T05:47:00.000-05:00

I'm going to preface this post with an apology - I am the type of person who must have been a grade-school teacher in a past life... I have the propensity to be pedantic and want to correct people. I usually do squash that pretty well, or at least THINK I do, given the fact that people still seem to want to talk with me. :-)

All that aside, as Santa rolls in at the end of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, in comes the holiday season, which I adore: the smell of fir trees and bayberry candles, of fires burning, of cookies baking, and (yes - FINALLY now I can personally accept) the sound of Christmas music (and the occasional rotation in of The Hanukkah Song).

Oh. And the annual rant from folks bitterly protesting the use of "Happy Holidays" or "Merry Xmas".

Apologies to any well-meaning friends or family who've joined the protest, but since you've made your point clear, I figure I can make mine and no harm no foul. Besides, I love a good debate. :-)

Here's where the pedant in me would like to point all the people protesting the use of "Xmas" to the following: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xmas

This is not new usage that the "politically correct" have dreamed up. The use of "X" (or the Greek letter chi) to substitute for "Christ" has been around longer than we've had typography to produce it. It is a historically acceptable abbreviation. So when I abbreviate "Christmas" to "Xmas," I am not doing so out of disrespect, nor a desire to remove religion from the holiday. I am not part of any "left-wing conspiracy" nor am I an atheist. Maybe a lazy typist, if I have to admit to being something.

And "Happy Holidays"... Oh boy.

May I ask what's wrong with genuinely wishing someone good will, regardless of how you phrase it? What on Earth possesses someone to see the worst in an expression of good will, and tear down the giver (which I have actually SEEN while out Xmas shopping in past years), rather than accepting it in the spirit in which it's meant?

I certainly can't be the only one who uses "Happy Holidays" to encapsulate Christmas (or Solstice, or Hanukkah, depending on the recipient) AND the New Year, and I WOULD like to wish you a happy time for both holidays without generating offense on the part of the recipient.

And if the well-wisher is unsure of the holidays you celebrate, why is it an offense for them to wish you well generically? It's not up to the retail clerk (who's probably been behind that register WAY too long this season) to determine in less than a second which holiday you celebrate and wish you well accordingly. Is it too much to ask people to accept goodwill in the intent in which it's delivered and celebrate their respective holiday anyway? It is not meant to exclude anyone, rather instead including various other beliefs and celebrations. And since when is inclusion considered bad manners? It's akin to looking at a group of people, male and female, and insisting I call them "gentlemen."

(Actually, it's more akin to looking at a group of people, some of whom are gender indeterminate, and asking me to call them "gentlemen" rather than "folks" - especially when I sure as heck don't want to offend someone.)

How about we look past the Thanksgiving night lines for the latest sales, look past the newest toys that you HAVE to have, look past the unintended slights and unneeded offense, and take a good long look at what we are all saying this season is about, whatever we believe, and reflect on that?

Happy holidays, folks... whatever you celebrate, or even if you don't. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Blessed Solstice, Joyous Yule, Happy New Year, and if I've missed anyone, please let me know. Just be happy. Unwind. Reflect. ENJOY the holidays and don't be consumed by them. May we all start 2012 happier for spending the holidays with loved ones, rather than saying, "Well, I'm glad THAT'S over for another year!"

Giving Thanks...

2011-11-22T20:00:00.000-05:00

Another Thanksgiving upon us already? Wasn't it just Halloween? Or did the snowstorm's postponement of trick-or-treat make the time seem to move more quickly this year?

Naah. It moves quickly every year. For something that happens regularly, I seem to get caught off-guard more often than I care to admit. :-)

Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday. Christmas is up there too, but Thanksgiving doesn't have any of the consumer madness associated with Christmas (unless you put off buying your turkey until the day before - then it's you and about a million other people in the grocery store picking up things like cranberry sauce and those last-minute "oops" items). It's a time to spend with loved ones, and to reflect on the good things in your life.

This year has been volatile at best, but I still have some very important things to be thankful for:

My health and the health of my loved ones, of course. There were some huge successes (a big YAY for my Uncle's clean bill of health), and some worries, but we seem to be holding it together okay.
Wonderful friends and family. Not only has it been nice to reinforce and strengthen some old friendships, it has also been both touching and relieving to not have to wade through a "divide" at this particular turning point in my life. I'm thankful for ALL my friends and family members, and doubly thankful that they wish to remain such. <3
Kindness and civility when it counts. No need to explain, but it's very much appreciated.
Snuggles on the couch with the kids when playing Nyan Cat, and goofy bedtime routines ("Don't let the bedbugs bite!" "Owie owie owie OW!").
The realization that, despite feeling like I've traipsed off the path and have been walking through brambles for a while now, I can see the clearing up ahead and I'll get there. Hooray for optimism. :-) (And thanks to those who've been there with me through the briar patch <3)
And the standards this time of year: the rustle of the leaves as you kick your feet through them, seeing your breath puff past your cold nose, the smell of the fires burning in people's homes, hot cider, sweater-and-gloves weather that gets too warm for either as the day goes on, pumpkin-this-and-that, squash galore, pies and more pies, and the ability to step back from the madness and just enjoy it all.

May you all escape the madness and enjoy your Thanksgiving. Eat, drink, be merry, and enjoy the presence of your loved ones. And kick some leaves around. <3

Philosophies and Observations

2011-11-07T14:04:00.000-05:00

I was poking around my Blogger archives when I finally decided to start posting again, and found a couple items in the Draft state that were going on over a year old now. One was a bit current-events-related and a bit past its sell-by date, so I deleted that one. The other made for an interesting observation.

It was more of a philosophical question and how I would answer it. I'm not going to post it; my observation is that my answer now isn’t what my answer would have been then. It's funny to think that ideas I subscribed to so heavily (or so strongly TOLD MYSELF I subscribed to) are so easily questioned when my world view changed.

I used to subscribe very heavily to the following philosophies (and no, neither one of these was the question - nice try :-):

Everything in this world ends. Every. Thing. Worrying about how it will end is counterproductive. The smart thing is to enjoy what you have, when you have it, and quit worrying about how things will unfold
You are in control of your own happiness. For the things in life you aren’t in control of, you have control over how you deal with them, and nobody can take that away from you.

Of course, that was before the snow globe got shaken up and everything went all crooked. I guess I never had reason to question them before - seems common-sense, right? Great advice, wonderful wisdom.

Not so easy in practice.

Sort of like everything else in life, right? We know that if we keep eating the Halloween candy, we’re not doing our health any favors. But that mini Mounds bar is soooooo good. We know that we should choose the salad instead of the pizza for lunch because we haven’t seen a real vegetable in three days, but the pizza has bacon on it today and hey - bacon pizza! And then we kick ourselves after the fact.

So, with the events of late, I have become somewhat of a worrier. I used to worry about other folks, that's not the part that's changed, and really, it was more concern than worry. But now I'm worried about my own future. Quite out of character for me, and a bit disconcerting. I know it’s absolutely pointless - half the time, things don’t work out at all like you’d envision, so there’s no sense worrying, and the other half the time, they will, and you’ll have to deal with them THEN, so there’s no sense stressing out NOW.

As a side observation, though, it seems like the volumes of paperwork required for a divorce are designed to bump up the stress level of the average person. Luckily, that part is pretty much done. But I digress...

As for the “in control of my own happiness”? Yes, I still believe in that, but boy have I not been living that lately. Stress makes it easy to see the world through a dark filter, and it’s tough to remember to take that filter off when looking at the rest of the world.

It’s unnerving enough when your world changes out from underneath you, but questioning who you are and what you believe in just adds to the mix and seems to feed a cycle of insecurity. it’s something I need to be aware of, and be careful not to get too far down that path. Right now, the future is both frightening and promising. At least it’s nice to have the balance of the two. Maybe the best philosophy right now is a simple one:

One day at a time.

Taking Back the Blog...

2011-10-22T20:32:00.000-04:00

Wow. Well, it's been over a year since I posted. It's time to take back the blog.

So what has Jen been up to since September of last year?

Funny how so much can change in that amount of time. If you'd told me I'd be where I am today, I'd tell you to quit mixing wine and cold medicine.

But what's a story without plot twists, right?

The big stuff first…

Bill and I separated back in August. Some of you know. Apologies to the rest of you who don't. Or didn't. FB was updated, but miraculously, it didn't decide to broadcast it to my entire friends list and twenty third-world countries in the process.

To head off the questions without going into much detail, it was a mutual decision… we have maintained a solid presence for the kids, and are showing them that they are important, that we are still a family regardless of what happens, and that we are both there for them. All in all, I think things are going as well as they can go - the drama is minimal, and the friends and family we've built over the last 20-odd years are still friends and family to both of us, and I am incredibly thankful for that.

The end of a series of good chapters… and the rest of the story (stories, now) are yet to be written.

The not-quite-as-big-stuff now…

The kids are getting bigger. This should not come as a surprise. It doesn't. But wow… One's playing trumpet in 5th-grade band and running 5k races with me, the other is having a blast playing soccer and hanging out with the boys (!) in 2nd grade. We're gonna have to watch that one… ;-)

I ran my 3rd half-marathon in May. And I slacked off and haven't run much since. Bad Jen. Still… after three half-marathons, I could be convinced to train for a full one. Yes, I have apparently said this in front of witnesses now. Oooopsie.

And oh-by-the-way, the Run to Remember course in Boston is a GREAT half-marathon… Mostly flat, great scenery (running down Memorial Drive along the Charles to Harvard and back)… just gorgeous. :-)

Still teaching Spinning… although I've slacked off on the music/playlist creation. I'll have to get back on the stick for that.

Started writing again. THAT was a surprise. I was a member of an APA (Amateur Press Association) going on ten years ago, and I got burned out between working, the kids, and all the other stuff. It's been fun to noodle around with stories and poetry again and remember that this geek girl liked English class once too. And I believe it started with a friend who decided to start posting Haikus one day, and an "Artclass" that came about afterward (animated gifs, prose, poetry, and... crayon art??)… see what you started? :-)

And so here we are.

A new chapter. Some revisiting of things I used to do but stopped doing (Taking pictures! And I even baked today! Whee!). Some regrets. Some sadness ahead, but with blank pages in the book that are yet to be written.

It's time to write.

The Unofficial End of Summer...

2010-09-02T19:39:00.002-04:00

...or so they call Labor Day Weekend, anyway. So school's started once again, and the long, lazy days are getting shorter, and it's time to put the favorite summer things away in the attic. No, not the white pants (hell with the "rules" - I wear those all year round!)... but the things that just make summer what it is:

The tinny jingle of the ice cream truck (which unfortunately drives too fast down our street)
Catching grasshoppers with the kids
Getting grass all over your bare feet after the lawn has been mowed
The ferocity of the summer rainstorm
The smell of the air after the rain
The morning fog over the field when it's that special kind of cold & humid
Fireflies
The smell of the pine trees
Sitting out on the deck with the feet up on the table and a cold drink in hand
Wearing flip-flops outside the house

So, back in the attic they go until next year... Which is fine. Now I get to take out the Fall stuff:

The crisp cool air in the morning, and being able to see your breath
Fair and "Old Home Days" season
The reds and yellows of the maple trees
The smell of burning leaves
The "crunch crunch" of walking through the fallen leaves
Sweaters(!)
Apple picking, apple cider, and pumpkin pie

The days are getting shorter, but this is the season I like best... Everything about Fall just seems to have a bit of "spice" to it. Not too hot, not too cold, nature's beauty at its finest, and the beginning of the "hunker down with family and friends" holiday season. Oh, and figuring out what sweater goes with those white pants before I spill cider all over them!

Enjoy the transition, everyone! Have a great holiday weekend!

(Oh, and thanks to a couple folks for reminding me I have a blog! :-)

Being Thankful...

2009-11-25T21:04:00.002-05:00

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays: very little of the retail hype that accompanies Christmas (which now starts directly after Halloween, apparently), time spent with loved ones, and reflections on what we're thankful for.

What am I thankful for?

My family: two incredibly cute kids with very different and wonderful personalities, and a husband who gave up his career to be the stay-at-home-dad.
That the above kids have not yet decided to sing the made-up songs about bodily functions (thanks, Dad!) anywhere other than home and in the car.
That I can still giggle at goofy songs about bodily functions and sing along with my kids.
I'm thankful that my mother's health has been good and the cancer hasn't returned.
That my uncle has a defiant, stubborn streak and is currently doing very well with his chemo.
That my tumor was benign.
I'm thankful for my job and the people I work with... don't let this get out, but I really do like my job (shh!).
I'm thankful for my friends: those who've been family to me for many years, and those who've been recent additions to my circle of friends.
I'm thankful for the opportunity to recently reconnect to many old friends (mostly via Facebook), perhaps even closer to some than we were "back in the day."
I'm thankful for the basics: a roof over my head, three meals to eat (plus snacks, plus coffee... I'm very thankful for coffee...), clothes to wear, and a vehicle to get me around. The extras are all gravy.

So... what are you thankful for?

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. May you spend it with loved ones and enjoy every minute.

Where were you when...?

2009-09-11T21:00:00.002-04:00

Remembering 9/11/01 today...

So... where were you?

I was at work. I forget exactly what I was working on... that's not the important part of the memory, I guess. I was on the phone with a friend's wife when she said, "A plane just hit the World Trade Center." It seemed like a tragic accident at the time. Initially, nobody knew what was going on, and at the time, we (and some of the news outlets) thought that it was a small passenger plane.

Our building isn't known for allowing any type of good radio reception. My manager at the time had a radio in her window office, and was trying to tune in to the news. Reports were totally chaotic. Was it a small, Cessna-sized plane? Was it a passenger jet like some reports were now saying? We pretty much stopped working at that point and tried to get something out of the radio reports. CNN, Fox News, etc. were still speculating on their websites.

They eventually all converged on the news that a passenger jet had hit the WTC and were attempting to figure out why. Then the second plane hit.

I'm sure you all remember the feeling... horrified, unable to do anything except listen. And read. The radio was turned up, and a few of us tried to dig up some web sites that would tell us anything new. CNN, Fox News, ABC News... all the major sites were useless. Slowed to a crawl with everyone trying to access them at once. The only site that would load (mostly) reliably was the Drudge Report (which, to its benefit, is as flash-less as can be). Then the Pentagon was hit. Then another plane was said to have crashed in Pennsylvania... some had speculated that it had been shot down. The full story didn't come out until later.

Not much work went on the rest of that day. Those of us who had friends in NYC tried to make sure they were ok (to my relief, my NYC friends were). We went through our routine after we exhausted the news, but we really didn't get much done. On my way home, a man was outside at the end of his driveway with a home-made sign, saying "Honk if you love our country." I honked. And I cried. He was there every evening for the next week or two doing the same thing.

I got home and hugged Ellen, who was about 9 months old at the time (and thankfully too young to understand what was all over the TV that day).

In the following days, I learned that our company lost one of its own on one of the flights that struck the WTC. I saw him in the hallways, said hi, but never knew him. And never would. I worried that, as a government contractor, we might be a target as well. But most of all, I was determined to do what I could to support our customers and friends in the military, who would most likely be putting their lives on the line in the future as a result of this attack.

The footage on History Channel is hard to watch. But I'm watching. And remembering.

To the victims of 9/11/01, rest in peace. God bless all those who risked their lives at the WTC to try to rescue those they could, those at the Pentagon who did the same, and the heroic passengers of flight 93 who prevented another incident and at the same time showed everyone what heroes really are. Thank you.

Iran: Sobering, Horrifying, and Heartbreaking

2009-06-24T21:05:00.003-04:00

I took some time at lunch today to read through the #iranelection posts on Twitter today. You have to weed out the Twitter Trolls posting Anti-Semitic rants and the huge number of posts from people offering their support, but the news from the "people on the street" is heartbreaking and absolutely horrifying. I can't really add much more than that, so I'll point you to a few links:

The #iranelection "trended topic" on Twitter.

A blog entry focusing on one Twitter user's posts from Tehran.

To realize that what you're reading is real, and is happening NOW is sobering. What is amazing through all this is the connectivity that allows us to see, unfiltered by the Iranian media OR our own, what is happening to real people in real time. One person on Twitter wondered if the Iranian Election is to Twitter what the first Gulf War was to CNN. It's certainly an interesting thought.

Tonight, I'll be thinking of - and praying for - the citizens of Iran who are caught up in all this madness. And thankful to be living here.

Self-explanatory blog post

2009-04-29T21:09:00.003-04:00

(No idea who to credit for the pic, but there ya go...)

The Monkeys go Geocaching!

2009-04-19T22:23:00.006-04:00

I always loved the idea of treasure hunting as a kid: solve some puzzles, find some clues, figure out where the big "X" is, and find your treasure! Of course, as a kid, the only treasure you tend to find is the stuff of imagination (or, if real, then you're a darn lucky kid!).

I heard about Geocaching a few years ago and thought it was a great idea: "treasure" hunting using GPS coordinates, a keen eye, and sometimes a series of clues to help you figure out where you need to go. And, best of all... each "treasure chest" is real. Where's the down side? :-)

A couple years back I picked up a Garmin eTrex, meaning to give it a try. Unfortunately, my youngest daughter wasn't old enough to go trekking through the woods yet, my oldest seemed indifferent, and I wasn't all that thrilled with the readability of my GPS, so I pretty much put it off for "the future", although I poked around on geocaching.com from time to time out of curiosity.

It recently occurred to me that I now have an iPhone. With GPS. And many downloadable applications at my fingertips. As well as two kids old enough (and interested enough) to try it. The bug bit again. :-) I downloaded a geocaching app (aptly named "Geocaching") that allows me to find caches local to me (or close to a location of my choice), look up their descriptions online (are they easy to get to? How large are they? Kid-Friendly?), and best of all: Use the GPS capability of the iPhone to navigate to a specific cache, even offering a "compass" mode once I get close enough to need one. How could we not go at this point?

So we went! Friday was our first foray into Geocaching, and the girls (including the BIG girl) got a kick out of it! The first cache we tried to find was a Princess-themed one, but there were a few neighborhood kids building a bike ramp in the area, and I didn't want to poke around while they were there. We tried another one at a local picnic area instead. Armed with GPS/phone in hand, we poked around and after a few minutes of searching (and trying to figure out how accurate "compass mode" really is), we found our treasure: an ammo box hanging from a tree a few feet away from the picnic area (more camouflaged than you'd expect, even hanging from a tree with nothing to cover it). Woo hoo! Contents: a log book and a few trinkets. The girls took one each, and we left two things in turn.

We went out again today and found two more: the original princess one (overflowing with girly, princessy things), and a second "microcache" that was just big enough to hold a log book (no room for a pen - bring your own!). I think I'm hooked... and the girls got a huge kick out of the "treasure hunt" as well. :-)

I've already started to amass a collection of items to leave behind in caches (to replace the things we take), and I'm considering picking up a "travel bug" or two (trackable items that cachers log online and the owners track as they move from cache to cache). There was a travel bug in the princess cache we found today (attached to a really pretty owl figure), but we figured we'd leave it for someone who'd be going caching again soon.

Some pictures from our excursions:

Our first find! Monkey got into the act as well! :-)
(Yes, I'm wearing my glasses... the cold I'd avoided for the Seattle trip finally caught up with me and my eyes were pretty unhappy with contacts. Bleh.)

Today's first find: the "microcache" (in Ellen's hand) that had some log paper rolled up inside: just enough for us to log the date & basically say "we found it!" Oh, and Kelly found a penny too. Look at that excitement! :-)

The Princess cache: the girls checking out the swag and me writing in the log book

The weather was nice enough to spend some quality time outside once we got home as well... aaaahhh... (Nice cup/crazy straw combo on the table, isn't it? ;-)

And look who moved in... we believe he/she is a neighbor's cat, but kitty seems to own the whole neighborhood. Fine with us, as the cat is the perfect non-pet: comes by to say hi, the kids get to pet him/her, and then goes home. For allergic me, that's a win-win situation right there. :-)

The only downside: my battle with the fir trees for yard dominance. I decided that I'd finally prune the bottom branches off the trees today. They bit back in their defense, but I think I got the better of them. At least I have all my limbs, even if they do look like this:

Little buggers. :-P

Ah well, back to work tomorrow. Can't say it wasn't a fun weekend, though. :-) Hope everyone else had a nice weekend and got to enjoy the nice, warm weather now that it's finally here! (And now I'm hoping that I didn't just trigger a snowstorm by saying that... uggh!)

Photos on Flickr

2009-04-03T15:43:00.001-04:00

Just FYI, if you're interested in pics from Seattle as I post them
online, they'll be on my Flickr set: http://flickr.com/m0nkeyh0use

Lunch now... And I'm still full from breakfast. My body clock is way
off.

Good Morning, Seattle!

2009-04-03T11:17:00.001-04:00

The view from our hotel:

Well, we arrived in Seattle last night. The flight went pretty well
after being slightly delayed to de-ice the wings, and we headed non-
stop from Boston to Seattle (Alaska Air - great prices!), to arrive in
at almost 10pm, Pacific Time. Yawwwn...

Once we got a cab and made our way to the hotel, we decided we felt a
little peckish and decided to hit the hotel bar for snacks and a drink
or two. And who happens to be there, but Kelly and Trina! Yay for
unexpected meetups! Oddly enough, the bar had GREAT New England-style
clam chowder. Who knew?

Still, after chatting for a while, we were all pretty beat and headed
to bed.

Today: sightseeing and meeting up with other friends as they arrive.
The plan is to hit the Pike Place Market (only about a half-mile from
the hotel) and take it from there. Weather is supposed to be nice this
weekend. Rainy morning, though. Who'd have expected that? ;-)

WOOOOOOO!!

2009-04-01T16:17:00.001-04:00

BENIGN!

There will be much rejoicing this weekend! :-)
Heading to Seattle for a few days tomorrow... this is the perfect start to a good vacation.

Update, and a bit of a relief

2009-03-19T11:46:00.001-04:00

Well, things looked OK this time around with respect to the new spots.
The spots they were concerned about turned out to be tissue that moved
into some old cysts (ew). Apparently, when smashed flat (ow ow ow),
they disappear in the x-ray, which is what happened.

Still planning on a 3/31 biopsy for the original site, though, unless
they can squeeze me in earlier.

Whew. :-)

Quick update... (or... the updated update)

2009-03-17T23:12:00.005-04:00

Hi folks,
Just a quick update to let you know that mammogram #2 happened today. The marker seems to be in the right spot, at least according to the images, so that's good news. No repeat procedure. Yay! :-)

March 31st is the doctor's appointment, and probably the biopsy. I probably won't send out another update about this until we get the results back from that, but things are moving forward. Shouldn't take too long to get answers now, which makes me happy.

On a related note, some of you know I was considering walking in the 3-Day Breast Cancer walk in Boston this July. The challenge was a great one: 60 miles over three days... I know I'd enjoy the experience. Problem is, the fundraising is very aggressive: $2300 per walker. Yikes! Honestly, I just can't justify asking people to do that in this economy. Plus, there are other cancers that just don't get the publicity (less "glamorous"?), and therefore don't get the money. It didn't seem right... So, I'll probably do the North Conway walk ("Strides Against Breast Cancer") again... that one benefits the American Cancer Society and seems like a better place for me to put my money. I'd rather see my money benefit all cancer research.

Although I still want to get a shirt from these guys. :-)

Update (3/18/09): Well, today started off nicely with a lunch to celebrate a coworker who's probably going to go out on maternity leave soon (as an aside: Angela's Coal-Fired Pizza is incredible!). I got back to work and had a message to call the radiology group I went to on Monday. The radiologist wants me to go back tomorrow for more imaging: the original, marked site did increase in size, and now there are more suspicious areas that he wants to get pictures of before my next doctor's appointment. The radiologist's recommendation: biopsy.

Ugh. Way to pull the rug right out from under me. I'll update the blog after I get more information.

The Hynes Tavern 5-mile Race (Wild Rover Race #3!)

2009-03-08T22:13:00.004-04:00

The third and final race in the Wild Rover Series was today: The Hynes Tavern 5-Mile Road Race in Lowell, MA.

Parking was a bit disorganized (at least, if you wanted to find the free parking lots), but we got a spot at the elementary school where I picked up my number and proceeded to spend half the morning in the line for the ladies' room (I'd forgotten what Comet cleanser smelled like!). At least we got there early...

The kids joined me, Michelle, John, and Laura for the pre-race picture:

The weather: sunny and gorgeous! It started off somewhat windy and cool (but nowhere near the snow and sleet we had the previous two weeks). I was wondering if I'd have to keep my jacket on for the run or not. And more good news: we were going to have actual chip time (mat at the starting line), rather than going by gun time. Which was nice, since it took me about a minute to actually cross the starting line.

Yeah, that's me waving... John too. :-)

Once we got going, it seemed like the wind instantly stopped and the sun got warm. That jacket came off after maybe 500 feet! I liked the course: out of Lowell into Chelmsford, around a cemetery and through some cute neighborhoods, then back into the city. Another course with a hill at the turnaround point, but this one wasn't as steep as the last one (thankfully). A good sign that it's all downhill from there is when you run past the town water tower. ;-) I had the iPhone going and mapped the route with Runkeeper. (Plug alert... I love this app!)

After a tough run on Friday, I was pretty psyched with my run today... lots of energy (and a nice little boost at the end getting cheered on by a friend and having my family at the finish line), and a better time than expected (a 10:14 mile), given the on-and-off issues my calf has been giving me over the past few weeks. Woo!

One thing I really liked about this race series was that it was the first group of races where we used the disposable timing chips ("D-chip"). No more chip collection at the end of the race (and fighting your way through the crowd of folks bent over trying to loosen these things from their laces), and no threats of being charged $$ for missing chips. The new chips came as a plastic strip attached to the back of your race number: detach the strip, loop it around your laces, and you're done. No problems attaching the chip, and there didn't seem to be any issues with accuracy... pretty nice.

What next? I dunno... I need to keep running, though, and quit slacking off. More snow for tonight and tomorrow (sigh), but no excuses... I need to find another race to sign up for to keep myself honest. :-)

All three "Wild Rover" medals together... the heart and crown were from this week. It's pretty big!

The Claddagh Pub 4-Miler (Wild Rover Race #2!)

2009-03-01T18:59:00.002-05:00

The second race in the Wild Rover Series was today: The Claddagh Pub 4-Miler (in Lawrence, MA).

Friday and Saturday, we had beautiful weather: Friday got up to almost 60 degrees, Saturday cooled down as a cold front moved through. Today?

Snow. Of course! Yaaaay! Two storms worked their way through the area today. Storm #1 was the one that affected the race today: not too much snow ("a dusting"), but enough to make some of the running slippery. Storm #2 is coming through tonight, and is expected to dump 15" of snow on us. That's what happens, living in New England!

The course was interesting: flat for the first mile, a KILLER hill at the 2-mile turnaround point (someone on the website described the hill as a "knee-in-the-face" hill, which was pretty accurate), with the downhill and flat coming back. Map is here on Runkeeper's site. I walked the hill and had to watch my step on the downhill, for fear of sliding down (if I'd had a sled, I'd have made up some great time!). Despite the hill and the snow, though, I still averaged around an 11-minute mile. Yay!

Round three will be next week with the Hynes Tavern 5-miler in Lowell. I'm hoping it's more like Spring! :-)

First picture is pre-race: (L-R) Michelle, Me, John, Laura, Jen (Joe, thanks again for taking the pictures!)

This is the amount of snow we had at the start... not too much, but it was slippery in spots (John skated over to the starting line):

Of course, there are bling pictures. The medal is the second piece of the 3-piece Wild Rover Series medal, and the second hand in the claddagh. Next week we get the heart and crown at the Hynes Tavern 5-miler.

It's blurry, but here's a picture of the two pieces together:

See you next week at the Hynes Tavern race! :-)
(Update: sorry the pictures didn't come through the first time... hopefully, this edit fixes that.)

The Saga Continues, Part VI: Frogurt

2009-02-24T21:45:00.000-05:00

House of Evil clerk: Take this object, but beware: it carries a terrible curse. Homer: That’s bad. Clerk: But it comes with a free frogurt! Homer: That’s good! Clerk: The frogurt is also cursed. Homer: That’s bad. Clerk: But it comes with your choice of free toppings! Homer: That’s good! Clerk: The toppings contain potassium benzoate. [Several seconds of silence...] That’s bad. Homer: Can I go now?

Sometimes I empathize with Homer...

For anyone who hasn't read the prior posts, or wants the recap, here's the last few doctor's appointments, boiled down for brevity:

Doctor: You have a suspicious spot on your mammogram
Me: That's bad.
Doctor: It looks like it's probably a cyst. Go get an ultrasound.
Me: That's good.
Doctor: Well, it's not a cyst.
Me: That's bad.
Doctor: But it doesn't look like anything threatening
Me: That's good.
Doctor: I can put in a marker and biopsy it, but I may not be able to hit it.
Me: That's bad.
Doctor: Or you can wait 6 months and see if it changes
Me: ...
Me (two days later): That's bad... I'm going ahead with the marker/biopsy

So today was the appointment with Doctor K. I wasn't sure if this was going to be an informational appointment ("This is what we'll do...") or the actual procedure. Turned out, it was the actual procedure. Score one for not having to wait even longer. Dr. K was able to locate the site with no problem via ultrasound, and he went in (with a rather LARGE needle) to put in the marker and perform the biopsy. I felt bad for the assisting nurse, as she seemed to be all thumbs. He kept a very level demeanor, though, and she did fine once they got set up. The procedure itself went smoothly... the worst part was the Novocaine (ow). The funniest part was when the ultrasound machine rolled away because the floor was uneven. :-)

After he finished, and we were wrapping up, he explained the following:

His initial reluctance to biopsy/mark the site was due to the spot being tough to discern on the ultrasound... it didn't look very distinct from the rest of the tissue around it, and he wasn't convinced he was actually seeing the correct spot.
Today, he was convinced.
He was convinced because it was MORE distinct this time around.
It also seemed to be larger than it was the last time.

Stupid, cursed Frogurt...

I'm scheduled for a followup mammo in 3 weeks (enough time for the marker to get "anchored" to the site) to verify he really did tag the site, and then a followup appointment with Dr. K. after that.

The fact that it's changed and is growing is unnerving, but I'm glad I went back... I'm grateful both to my mom for initially getting me to question that first ultrasound that didn't find anything, and to all my friends (you know who you are) who convinced me to push back and not wait. Waiting isn't for me, anyway (as I found out), but you helped motivate me to get my butt back in there and do something.

So... no answers yet, more questions... but it seems like answers will be coming soon.

In the meantime, I'm keeping the fingers crossed, and moving forward. I've got a race to train for on Sunday! :-)

The Frozen Shamrock!

2009-02-22T15:53:00.000-05:00

Well, the Frozen Shamrock 3-miler was today! This is the first in a series of 3 races sponsored by local Irish Pubs (the Wild Rover Series). The weather folks were predicting rain turning to snow, starting around midday, so I wasn't sure what conditions were going to be like. Luckily, the weather was pretty good at the start (high 30's, no rain yet), so everything was GO!

A group of us from the office peer pressured each other to run today, and we all managed to show up. :-) Front row (L-R): Michelle, Me, and Jen. Back Row (L-R): John, Laura, and Mike.
Thanks to Jen's husband, Joe for taking the picture! :-)

Here's the view from the starting line:

The race was crowded at the start, but there weren't TOO many runners -- about 600 or so who registered ahead of time. Roads were only partly blocked off, which led to some confused (and obviously frustrated) motorists, but after the first substantial hill it was pretty good. A couple of shoppers got mixed up in the race and ended up running with us for a while until they got out at the parking garage. :-) I mapped the route using Runkeeper on my iPhone, and you can see the map here: http://bit.ly/kXKgv (I started recording a little late, because I was expecting to cross a mat at the starting line, and there wasn't one... oops!)

Update: The times are in... 30:10:00 (gun time, since there was no mat at the start). Considering I was starting at the back of the crowd and I have no idea where the actual start line was, I'm really happy with that. :-)

After the race, the crowd seemed to be bigger for the free beer line. The rain had begun and it was COLD waiting in line, but we stuck around, got the beer (refreshing) and chili (warm!), and then left... we would have hung around, but the rain was getting colder and harder and it was getting more and more uncomfortable. Oh well. Maybe the next two will have better weather (fingers crossed). At least the drive home was pretty good, since it hadn't turned to snow yet.

Of course, I had to take pictures of the bling:
The medal is the first of three that will form a claddagh when combined with the others in the series. Nice touch, with the personalized bib numbers. :-)

Next week, the Claddagh Pub 4-miler in Lawrence!

The Saga Stagnates...

2009-02-18T13:23:00.001-05:00

Just a quick update for anyone following the "Saga of the Suspicious Mammogram"... my doctor's appointment today was rescheduled (Dr. K was called in for emergency surgery).

Next update: Tuesday, 2/24. Maybe.

However, it was a nice day out for a run... I got in a quick two miles just to get outside, and to get ready for the first "Wild Rover" race on Sunday. If it doesn't snow. Maybe even if it does snow. Who knows...

Not going to wait anymore... (or, "Questions, part IV")

2009-02-02T21:50:00.000-05:00

Well, I got the phone call back from the doctor ("Dr. R") today. He spoke at length with the surgeon ("Dr. K"), and Dr. K did not believe an MRI would give him any more information than he already has.

Sooooooo...

The only option other than waiting is to attempt to tag the site. The plan would be (if I have this correct) to inject a metal marker into the site and biopsy it at the same time. Then follow up with another mammogram to make sure they got it. If not, then it's "second verse, same as the first" until they do get it.

I don't like waiting... Two days was enough for me. So, even though Dr. K wasn't confident he'd be able to find it with the needle, I'm going to call his office and make the appointments. I guess I'd rather just get it over with and know already, even if this takes multiple tries.

Why the change of heart? Mostly, friends who have gone through this experience, either first- or second-hand, telling me not to wait. Friends online, at work, old friends, recent friends... people are coming out of the woodwork with their personal stories. The common theme of every one: don't wait. Get as much information as you can, and keep going. I'm not good at leaving things unanswered anyway, but this was the most compelling reason to keep pushing. Thanks, everyone.

I'm planning on going out for multiple beers after this is over. Anyone with me? :-)

Update: I have an appointment with Dr. K on 2/18. We'll see where this goes from there!

Stay tuned...

2009-01-27T11:52:00.001-05:00

OK, here's a better update, since I'm no longer on my cell phone. :-)

This morning, I went to see my primary care physician who agreed that 6 months, especially given my family history, is too long to wait. He did, however reassure me of two things: (A) Doctor K's (the specialist's) notes indicated that this something had no tell-tale signs of malignancy, and (B) given Dr. K's experience, his reluctance to go for a biopsy means that he really, really thought he could not reach this thing without poking around blindly.

Which makes me happy I didn't go for option 2 right away (tagging the site via biopsy needle), since I'd probably have been turned into a pincushion looking for this thing.

Dr. R (my primary care physician) suggested an MRI might be able to give Dr. K some more information, but wanted to chat with Dr. K first to see if he had any other ideas. I should be getting a phone call back either today or tomorrow.

So, I'm pretty upbeat about it all right now. Things are moving forward, and I'm happy with the way things are going. More info to come, I'm sure, but until then, onward and upward... :-)

Questions, part 2

2009-01-26T10:07:00.000-05:00

I have since determined that waiting is not for me. I have never been more scatterbrained and distracted during day-to-day activities, and at night, without any other distractions, my stress level was through the roof. I am apparently too much of a control freak to leave something completely unanswered for 6 months, especially when the implications are a bit more serious than usual.

So, I've managed to score an appointment with my doctor tomorrow (hooray for cancellations!) and I'll push to see what some other options are.

Thanks to everyone for their comments and well-wishes (here on the blog and elsewhere). I'll post an update once we figure out what the next step is.

Questions and... more questions.

2009-01-21T23:27:00.000-05:00

I'm one of those people who likes solving problems. Especially difficult ones. It feels good to wrestle with an issue, then finally have that "aha!" moment of triumph at the end. Unanswerable questions are fun riddles, but I don't like them in my life.

And life, of course, doesn't really care what I like. C'est la vie, of course. Har har har...

Last September, I went in for a routine mammogram (an early routine due to my mom's experience with breast cancer). The results indicated something out of the ordinary on my right side: a tiny, round blip on the x-ray film. They scheduled a follow-up ultrasound to try to figure out what it was (although they guessed it was probably a cyst). The next week, I went for the ultrasound and spent about 15-20 minutes while the technician looked for her target. Results: inconclusive. She couldn't find it. The technician recommended that I come back in 6 months for a follow-up mammogram and we'd start over then. The open-endedness of it all nagged at me, but I went home, planning to make another appointment for March.

Fast forward to Christmas, explaining the above story to my mom over a pot of chocolate fondue (mmm... fondue...). I was strongly encouraged to schedule it for three months instead, given that her cancer had progressed nearly to the lymph nodes before it could have been detected through a self-exam. The nagging part of my brain got quite a bit louder after that, and I finally called my doctor's office in January to ask his opinion of the whole situation. A week later, I received a phone call back from his office, referring me to a specialist. This wasn't exactly the response I was expecting (I figured I'd get sent back for another image to be taken). I was happy they were actively discussing the issue, but it also made me a bit nervous to think it's gotten this far.

Today was my appointment with the specialist, who also, oddly enough, happened to be the same doctor who removed my gall bladder in '97. I know this guy. Yay! He performed a follow-up ultrasound in his office and explained exactly what he was looking for, where it should be, etc.

The good news: He found it.
The bad news: It's not a cyst.
The questionable news: He's not sure what it is.

Other good news: Whatever this something is, it hasn't grown or changed shape since the initial mammogram in September. It's pretty small (1/4 inch in diameter), it's virtually indistinguishable from the rest of the tissue around it (which probably made it so hard to spot during the first ultrasound), and it doesn't look like anything problematic.

Other bad news: Whatever this something is, its size and position (pretty far back along the wall of the chest) make it very difficult to target. He doesn't want to biopsy it based on the ultrasound, because he's afraid he won't hit it.

The options:

Wait 6 months and follow up with his office directly.
"Tag" the spot where he thinks the something is by injecting a small metal tag (like a tiny wire) into the site, and comparing with a mammogram to see if he got the right location. The upside of this: we'd know (eventually) where this thing is. The downsides: it could take a while to get it, and the wire could potentially get in the way of a biopsy. It also seemed like a bone he was throwing me if I absolutely positively wanted him to do something now.

I voted for option 1. Option 2 seemed more like the "make the patient feel better" option, rather than doing anything really productive. Since this thing hadn't changed in three months, I was less worried about any immediate danger, and decided not to play hide-and-seek with a biopsy needle.

So I'm waiting... in July I get the next series of mammograms, and in August I get seen by the doctor again. The idea is to see if it's changed any, and to make any determinations from there. He's trying to solve this problem, himself, so he doesn't want to let this go. I can relate to that, in more ways than one right now.

So... I'm not really sure what I'm trying to get out of posting this. I think I just needed to say it, put it behind me and move on for the next 6 months. I've got a life to live, a great family, kids to play with, friends to laugh with, races to run and Spinning classes to teach. I don't have time to worry about something I can't do anything about right now.

Thanks for bearing with me, though. :-)

Told you I'd do it again!

2009-01-19T15:33:00.001-05:00

Snowy run, originally uploaded by Jen Nolan.

I've realized that without goals (races, basically), my training goes nowhere. I've got a series of races planned (the Wild Rover series, see prior posts), but after that, not much.

So, I decided to sign up for Boston's Run to Remember, not as part of the 5-mile run, but for the half-marathon. The race is Memorial Day weekend, so I have even more time to train this time around. The course is nice, too, taking you down the Charles River, and pretty flat, so I'll probably enjoy it even more than the Manchester one.

So I printed out my half-marathon training plan today and went for my first run towards my next half. It was snowy, but I didn't hit the gym this morning (and didn't want to go at night). I figured the roads would be melting by lunchtime, and if they weren't, I could always turn around and go back.

It was beautiful. Warm enough for a long-sleeved shirt and vest... the roads were wet and slushy, but not slippery except for one spot near my turnaround. Scenery was pretty, so I had to stop and take a picture. :-)

Oh, and a little plug for RunKeeper (app for the iPhone): Gives you a nice map of your route while you use the phone as your GPS. :-)

A tad nippy this morning...

2009-01-16T08:25:00.001-05:00

Yup. That's a "-" in front of that "18.7". Beach weather, anyone?

Run the Wild Rover Series!

2009-01-14T10:41:00.000-05:00

Crosspost from my other blog

Looks like fun, with some good swag. And now I have a reason to drag myself out to run.

Now to decide if I want to go out in the ungodly wind chill today (when I forgot my fuzzy headband to keep my ears warm). Hmmm...

(Update: 15 degrees, 16-20 mph winds, wind chill of -1... I think I'll just stick with the treadmill until this passes)

Ice storm photo 5

2008-12-12T10:49:00.000-05:00

Icy deer...

Ice storm photo 4

2008-12-12T10:46:00.000-05:00

Just thought this one was a cool photo. No swinging today! :-)

Ice storm photo 3

2008-12-12T10:41:00.000-05:00

One of our trees has a few smaller branches that needed to be removed
from the road. Looks kinda Charlie Brownish now, poor thing.

Ice storm picture 2

2008-12-12T10:35:00.000-05:00

The view up the road. Lots of fallen branches further up the road in the
other direction. So many lines down in that direction, that it's probably going to take days to restore power to everyone.

Ice Storm 2008

2008-12-12T10:31:00.000-05:00

Some of the scenery around here after a day and night of freezing
rain. It's not as bad as some places further North and West, but we're
without power and have been since 11:30 last night.

This is the scene at the end of the road. No wonder we have no power.

13.1!!!

2008-11-02T14:23:00.000-05:00

Well, the City of Manchester Marathon (and Half-Marathon) was today... and I actually made my goal: to finish upright and without the aid of an ambulance. WOO-HOO!

It was pretty chilly for spectators (Bill was pretty uncomfortable), but perfect running weather. It was a great run -- lots of spectators along the course (and many near the finish). My IT band started bothering me just before mile 11, so the last two miles were spent alternating between running & walking, but I still made it in at around 2:30 or so. I honestly never looked at my time crossing the finish line because I was looking for Bill and the kids (and found them!), and then Michelle and Mike (a couple friends from work) who crossed the line a bit before I did.

I'm pooped now... took a couple ibuprofin and I'm relaxing on the couch. Would I do it again? Sure! Although I'd baby my IT band a bit more beforehand.

Before the race (Michelle all bundled up for warmth in the background):

And they're off!

Nearing the finish line... and I'm SMILING?! (hee!)

Whew! I've got some more modest runs in mind for the near-term (a five-mile race on Thanksgiving morning, for one... hey, they give out PIES at the end!!). Although I'm eyeballing the half-marathon out in Sonoma Valley... mmmm, wine country. :-)

Edited to add: The results are in!! I made it in 2:28:29! Given the five-minute porta-potty break (figured out by Michelle and her trusty Garmin), that's WAY better than I expected! Woo-hoo!!

Random Observations from Mile Ten

2008-10-28T21:41:00.000-04:00

Well, the half-marathon is 5 days away, and I've done my longest run yet in preparation. I plan to just take it easy until the big day (with a spinning class and maybe a short run in between, to keep the legs moving), so I'm effectively finished with my training. Wow.

That said, it seems as though once you start crossing the threshold into "distance" running (and I'm sure it's different for everyone), things start behaving differently. Here's a few things I've noted as time has gone by:

I don't really need music, as long as I'm outside. I wouldn't have expected this, being Overstimulated Chick, but there's a nice ebb and flow between enjoying the scenery and just letting your mind wander. No... I haven't kidnapped and hidden the "real Jen" -- why do you ask?
The more I run outside, the more I despise treadmills. Boring, boring, BO-RING! 3 miles, OK. 4 miles, sure. 5 miles and up?... Tedium. 10 miles? Pure torture. I had to grab a treadmill with a TV and watch something on Discovery about the Titanic just to get my mind off the distance counter. No terrain changes, no scenery changes (unless you count the folks swimming laps in the pool), and no breeze to cool you off. Before last year, I'd never run outside... now I think I'll go cuckoo this winter.
My knees have gotten stronger the more I run. THAT surprised me. Happily.
At ten miles, EVERYTHING chafes. Ow.
Running in the rain isn't half bad.
I have officially skipped ice cream (ice cream!) to go for a run. Wait... maybe I have kidnapped the real Jen.
I get all giddy setting all these goals for myself (in the form of registering for various races). I realize I probably wouldn't push myself without the goals, and I get the added benefit of them being fun, too. For the most part.
There's quite a bit of camaraderie among other runners, which has been fun to be a part of... little things like signing up for races together, trading tips (stretching, training, um... bra shopping), and just waving hi to folks as you run past.

And all you need is a good pair of shoes and the outdoors.

This is fun... I think I'll keep it up. :-)

My schmoozing family members (and cute kid pics) :-)

2008-10-16T23:17:00.001-04:00

Barack Obama appeared in Londonderry today... I may have mentioned in the past that Bill's been working for his campaign, but he and Kelly got some good schmooze time in. ;-) (Kelly's probably negotiated herself a cabinet position, given her personality)

The group shot: (well, a small group anyway)

Sen. Obama and Kelly having a heart-to-heart ("awwwwww" moment):

And Kelly modeling her new shirt. Heh:

And Ellen got her picture in the paper a month or so ago:

And where am I? Working, of course. Figures! :-)

Some more pictures online!

2008-10-12T13:12:00.001-04:00

We had a visitor this morning!

Rest of the pictures are on Flickr: <http://www.flickr.com/photos/m0nkeyh0use/sets/72157607965014019/>

Also, all the AZ pictures are online now: <http://www.flickr.com/photos/m0nkeyh0use/sets/72157607962051061/>

2008-10-08T21:32:00.000-04:00

Saguaro!

2008-10-08T21:31:00.000-04:00

The view (one of the less impressive views, actually) on the way to
the museum.

Another desert museum picture

2008-10-08T21:29:00.000-04:00

I'm not in New England anymore!

2008-10-08T21:28:00.001-04:00

Due to equipment problems, we had an impromptu half day off. A couple
of us went to the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum (with some incredible
views on the drive in that, unforunately, the iPhone camera couldn't
handle).

Unfortunately, we don't get the sightseeing time that we were counting
on tomorrow. So this was probably it. I'm going to have to come back
sometime with the whole family. :-)

And another

2008-10-08T10:31:00.001-04:00

Another Boneyard picture. It goes on and on.

The Boneyard

2008-10-08T10:29:00.000-04:00

"The Boneyard": huge field of decommissioned planes (some commercial
ones too) at Davis-Monthan AFB.

On the road again...

2008-10-06T01:17:00.000-04:00

This was the view to welcome me to Tucson. I was almost too tired to
realize the vegetation wasn't exactly what I'm used to. :-)

My room is pretty nice: apartment-type of setup with a king bed. That
I'm going to use immediately since it's 1am Eastern time. Yawn. G'nite!

So, what was all THAT about, you wonder... :-)

2008-10-03T10:50:00.000-04:00

In case you're wondering what all the picture activity was about last weekend, Bill and I took a long weekend (the first one away from the kids!) to head to Baltimore for the Baltimore Comic Con. Yeah, I know... geeeeeeeeeks! :-)

Bill's gotten to know a lot of folks in the artist community (through shows and getting commissions, etc.), and through one of the online message boards, friends and fans of Tim Sale (Batman/Superman/Daredevil/Hulk Gray artist, as well as the art for Heroes) decided to get together at the Baltimore show for a helluva party. I got to finally meet a lot of the folks I've only spoken to online, and what a fun bunch!

Did I run at all that weekend? Ha! Funny question! :-P

Some of the more random highlights of the weekend (that may only make sense if you were there):

Opening lunch at Hooters
25 (or was it 35) pounds of chicken wings
Australian chocolate (Lauren! I love you, but you're EVIL!)
Rich(!) Starkings and I geeking out on our iPhones.
The sketchtravel book... wow. (lots of beautiful work in there)
Sightseeing in the rain on Saturday (and Bill's new pair of shoes as a result)
Dinner for 23 at Lucy's Pub. Me with my Guinness and Bill ("Breezy") with his sea breeze. Hee hee...
Everyone's pirate booty from the show (some beautiful artwork everyone got... especially the folks who waited in Barry Kitson's line)
Singalong at the Hard Rock ("The Looooooove Shack...!")
Hanging out at the OTHER hotel Sunday night (and I'm wondering if I should be thankful that I missed the "Saved by the Bell" discussion)
Oh, and the most random event of them all: the street gang riding off-road vehicles (dirt bikes and quads) down the middle of the street at dusk. Where do you even BUY dirt bikes in Baltimore? (And I'm bummed I missed seeing the guy fall off the quad... schadenfreude is still alive and well, I'm afraid).

Flickr sets have been posted... lots of fun was had. Next time we get together might be Seattle in April. I'm getting used to this sightseeing in the rain thing. :-)

My Flickr set
Bill's Flickr set

Now I need to break it to the kids that I'm going to AZ for travel next week. Ugh.

Bill's first Fastpass sketch!

2008-09-27T14:19:00.001-04:00

Matt Baker era Phantom Lady. Tim did a great job on this one!

Civics!

2008-09-26T21:33:00.001-04:00

Presidential Debate Watch Party!

Too much awesome!

2008-09-26T19:52:00.001-04:00

Mike, Jay, Randy, Mike

Party Time II

2008-09-26T19:47:00.001-04:00

Rich & Darwyn

Party time!

2008-09-26T19:45:00.000-04:00

Tim & Richard

The finest in con attire

2008-09-26T18:14:00.001-04:00

Kelly & Rich.

To the Bat-Pole!

2008-09-26T17:36:00.001-04:00

That's Bill's "serious face"...

Roarrrrrr!

2008-09-26T17:34:00.001-04:00

Geppi Entertainment Museum

Lunch!

2008-09-26T12:46:00.000-04:00

Guess where? ;-)

That blur...

2008-09-26T10:52:00.001-04:00

Is a turkey in the MHT parking lot. :-)

We're in Baltimore now. Whee! More later! :-)

Okay, so vote... willya?

2008-09-21T23:03:00.000-04:00

No idea if anyone other than a handful of people read this, but even so... it's worth saying:

I don't care who you're favoring this election: McCain / Obama / Ron Paul / Ralph Nader / Donald Duck... whomever, it doesn't matter. Just register if you haven't. Don't know how? Need an absentee ballot? You can find answers at this site.

Think your vote won't matter? Think again. This race is statistically tight, and we all remember the uproar in 2000 when Gore won the popular vote but not the electoral vote. Your vote counts, and your state could be the one to make that difference.

I do feel strongly about this race, for my own reasons. And I'm willing to chat about them if you want, but not in this post. Just register. Then vote.

And thanks. :-)

Training, Week 6 / Run 1 (Long Run)

2008-09-21T22:14:00.000-04:00

I kind of slacked off on week 5... got my easy run in on Wed, and it was beautiful out, so I decided to go out longer than I was scheduled to, and get some speed work in as well. Did 2.8 miles at a 9:31 pace. I was pretty happy.

Then I didn't run again until today. Oops! I was supposed to do a 5-mile run on Friday, but had too much going on.

So this week, I'm moving my runs up a day, since we're headed to Baltimore on Friday. I didn't want to be running on the days I'm flying (Friday and Monday). I figure I can manage to get one run in while we're gone (although it's an 8-miler... Yikes!).

Anyway, today's run was 7 miles (click to see the route). Felt great through the first 5 or so, and went exploring parts of town I wasn't really familiar with. Got yelled at by a rooster at the farm I almost got to before turning around. I may have to run down there again just to see what's down the rest of that road. At about mile 6, my hamstrings were yelling at me, and I was definitely glad I was close to home. My heels have been upset with me all day... maybe I need to get some new shoes...

Oh well. Still, after missing a run on Friday, I managed to make it. Felt pretty good. :-) Having the GPS app on the iPhone was a godsend, basically giving me license to explore since I know how far I've gone (and when I need to turn around).

Hopefully, my heels feel better soon (ow ow ow ow ow). :-)

Half Marathon Training: Week 5 (of 11), Run 1 (of 3)

2008-09-15T13:29:00.001-04:00

Preface: I'll be posting these (semi) regularly in an attempt to stay motivated and honest to myself... You don't have to read them if you're not interested. :-)

The goal: The City of Manchester Half-Marathon on November 2nd. I started actually getting serious about training for it a month ago and went to Runner's World and set up my training plan. My long run days are Mondays (rest/cross-training days are Tuesdays and Thursdays, so I can still teach my Spinning classes), so today started off week 5 with a 6-mile run.

The last time I ran 6 miles, I hated it. It was for the Bill Kelley Memorial 10k in Manchester... in July... during rainstorms. Ugh. I also hadn't trained for it, so it was incredibly tough. I was hoping today would be different. I wasn't disappointed.

The weather today was incredible... it started off humid, but dried out by lunchtime. Nice and sunny, with a cool breeze. Perfect weather.

For the one person out there who's been wondering about this (you know who you are!), I did decide to run with my iPhone this time, after picking up an application for it that is supposed to use the built-in GPS to track distance/pace/etc. The App is "Running GyPSy" (get it: G-P-S... har!). It's WELL WORTH the cost! I also have a wrist worn Garmin GPS that I've used in the past (a Forerunner 201) that has been wonderful, but tends to cut out when signal strength is low. I went through multiple known "dead zones" for my GPS and this app never cut out on me once. There are maybe a few "gold plating" touches I would put on it, but I plan on giving the App a positive review on iTunes (and I rarely ever do that), so that says something, I suppose.

The route itself was nice. After getting through most of the uphill run, it was a nice, gentle downhill for a good chunk of it that helped me get a good amount of energy back. I managed to average a 10:31 minute mile for a 6-mile run (when I'm only supposed to be training at 11:54), so you KNOW it was a good run. :-) The only downside? The goose poop I stepped in right when I got back. $@!&# geese!!

Wednesday is an easy run at two miles, and Friday is my first "tempo run" at 5 miles with some speed work. I shouldn't be as long-winded about those two. :-)

Making Strides for Breast Cancer - October 19

2008-09-14T22:07:00.000-04:00

On October 19th, I'll be walking in the "Making Strides for Breast Cancer" event in North Conway, NH, in honor of my mom (a survivor of breast cancer herself). I've set up a team ("Pat's Walkers"), so if anyone's interested in joining us, the more the merrier!

The link to the team pages is here: Pat's Walkers
You can join us via the link or make a donation if you like. If you want to walk with us, just let me know and I'll figure out where and when to meet.

Making Strides Against Breast Cancer - 2008-2009

Testing again

2008-09-07T19:13:00.000-04:00

Just a test to see how the email interface works... And to show off
the funky snake that was in the barn. :-)

Testing... 1, 2, 3

2008-08-12T20:25:00.000-04:00

Okay, I've finally decided to go with Blogger rather than keep my blog at Myspace (I use it for my Spinning blog and like the interface much better). I'll probably finish posting my vacation pictures there and then move on here... more to come.